White Christmas Special
by Prince Lutin
Summary: The Nohrians decide to T.P. the Hoshidan Royal Palace and egg that jerk Takumi for no reason at all.
_**DISCLAIMER:**_ _I do not own Fire Emblem or most of the characters. They are property of Nintendo._

 _Rated T for bad language. Not for those under 13._

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 **THE ESTATE OF NIBIRU-MUL PRESENTS**

 **A WHITE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL**

One warm, damp night in Hoshido, there were a number of people walking outside the palace grounds. They were dressed in their pajamas and weird animal masks. It was Leo and several of the Nohrian soldiers. They were going to have a little fun by giving the royal palace a "white Christmas special" - toilet papering the palace. Corrin was not there, since he was a goody two-shoes who didn't want to vandalize Hoshidan scum's royalties. (Elise was home too since it was way past her bedtime.)

"We're here, #######," said Xander.

"I've got plenty of toilet paper," said Niles.

"I've got the eggs," said Laslow. "I didn't know whether to get white or brown eggs, so I just went ahead and got both."

"And I've got the sweet and sour sauce," said Effie.

"Sweet and sour sauce?" asked Xander. "That's stupid! LET'S DO IT!"

"Okay," said Leo, "so T.P.'ing to begin at 10:30, egging at 11."

"We're going to show those Hoshidan scum a fun time!" said Camilla.

"They're going to be so mad!" said Leo.

"And tasty!" said Laslow. "I love sweet and sour sauce. I put it on my waffles every time we eat waffles."

"Daiam," said Odin. "You're crazy."

At 10:30 sharp, the Nohrians ganged up on the palace and put on their masks. They gathered around, Xander, Camilla, and Effie on one side, Silas, Niles, and Laslow on another, and Leo, Odin, and Selena on yet another.

"Ready...set...GO!" said Xander.

The Nohrians started to decorate the royal palace with their toilet paper. They threw their toilet paper so high that it covered the palace. They also hurled sweet and sour sauce at the palace. Storks that were flying above the palace pooped on the roof so that it would stink. One of the storks pooped on Takumi's statue - the one that he made of himself. Only he made the butt too big...

Eventually, it was time for the egg toss.

"Who's going to get the bell?" asked Leo.

"I am!" said Laslow.

Laslow ran to the palace door and ran the bell. Then he got up and left.

"Here he comes," said Laslow.

"Ready...aim..." said Xander.

"FIRE!" said Leo.

The Nohrians heard Takumi coming.

"Ze zi zo zum, I smell the blood of Nohrian scum!"

Takumi, clad in his pajamas (which had little bears on them, though at least they weren't stupid feet pajamas), walked over to the door and opened it. The eggs that were flying in the air landed on him and covered him.

"WHAT IN THE GODS' NAMES IS THIS?" yelled Takumi.

Laslow got out of the bushes, followed by Xander and Leo, did a stupid, annoying mocking dance.

"HA HA!" said Leo. "YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE, BIATCH!"

"YEAH!" said Xander.

Laslow turned around and started shaking his buttocks at Takumi.

"Take that, biatch!" said Laslow.

Takumi ran up to Laslow and pinned him down and clawed his face.

"That's what you get, you stupid, annoying young man in a dress!" He was looking at Laslow's royal blue nightshirt.

"It's not a dress!" said Laslow. "It's a nightshirt. It's like a nightgown, except it's for a dude."

"Well I'm going to manhandle you!" yelled Takumi.

Xander drew his sword and threatened Takumi with it.

"You lay one finger on him and I'll cut your hand off and mount it over my dinner table!" said Xander.

"Please don't hurt me," said Laslow. "I want my mommy!"

"Your mom's 2,000 miles away right now, you poophead," said Odin.

"Thanks, Odin," said Laslow.

"GET OUT OF HERE, NOHRIAN SCUM!" yelled Takumi. "And clean up that toilet paper. It smells like a stork's rear end."

"Okay," said Xander.

"We will go," said Leo.

The Nohrians ran away laughing like people who were high on weed.

"Die Nohrian scum!" said Takumi. "Check your privilege!"

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 **THE END**

 **Happy Easter! And remember... _TEAM NOHR FOR LIFE!_**


End file.
